The Awkward Friendship Zone

By Shannon Carpani BSN, RN

There you are

The person whom

I care so deeply for.

I wish that I could

Gather the courage

To walk up to your door.

It has been so long

Since we last talked

Do you even remember me?

I think of you

And want to be

The person that you often see.

You seem content

Living your life

On your own and in my absence

That I hesitate

To show my feelings

And maintain my distance.

I feel disconnected

And yet

My thoughts are unchanged towards you.

You are still

Cared for

The one that I once knew.

Sometimes, I catch wind

Of how you fare

From others that you still see;

My jealousy

Surmounts

Wishing that this could be me.

I ask how you are

And hope all is well

Wishing that I could find out myself.

Time and distance

Lack of exposure

Placed me on your friendship shelf.

My thoughts and feelings

Did not change

As I fell into the acquaintance zone

Leaving me wishing

And wondering

And without you, alone.

I would give

Just about anything

To watch you succeed and grow.

My fear of rejection

And feelings unreciprocated

Mean that you may never know.

It would crush my soul

To find out

That you rejected me one day;

I could not handle

Your voice

Telling me to go away.

Unsure

If these fears

Hold any merit at all,

They hold me back;

Stuck in a rut.

Paralyzed and unable to make a call.

What if you

Are thinking

That for you I do not care?

What if you

Are wishing

For time and memories to share?

What if you hurt

And feel like less;

Longing for that one-time way back when?

Do I risk my heart

And my emotions

To try to gain your friendship again?

Perchance received with open arms

Just as desired;

Discarding all that I feared.

Maybe, you will look at me

Like, “Who are you?

This is awkward and weird.”

I can speculate

About it

All the day long,

But in the end,

It’s up to me

To find out if I was right or wrong.